Berry Picking in the Sunshine.

This was a good day.

It didn't start out that way. 

It started out as many of the most frustrating days do. I had a giant list of things that "needed" to be done, and an overtired toddler who refused any sort of nap time.

I always feel so robbed at this point. Anger rises in me as I realize I will not have the productive day that I had planned, and instead I will spend the day dealing with meltdowns. Mine, or my toddlers. Could go either way.

There is a point on these days where I will still try to get everything done out of habit. Doomed from the start, but somehow I just think " today we will make it work". 

I just can't stop myself, and it ends up pretty catastrophically, at least for me. 

This day, I realized early on, the plans in my head were just not going to happen. My little guy was so grumpy.

 So we went for a drive. That calms us all down sometimes.

We ended up at a Blueberry Farm I had not known about before.

Two of my dudes favorite things. Being outside, and blueberries.

I pulled in.

Instead of fighting it, we changed plans. We chose to make the day a sweet, happy memory instead of a struggle.

 We mostly ran around exploring the acres and acres of blueberry bush aisles, stopping to pick a bit. Seeking shade. Taking photos. A little boy may have been, um,  "sampling" some blueberries out of his bucket.

We only picked about a pint. They had to live in my daughter's bucket to stay safe.

At the checkout the guy just slid the pint back across the counter and said "You can just have it, I think the birds and deer eat more than that in an hour". Yes, free blueberries & a fantastic day in the sunshine. 

Thankful that every day is a fresh new start, and that being open to a change of plans often leads to a better situation.

I also noticed my sweet little girl stepping in where she could help. Without being asked. She is getting so much more aware of the needs of others and I am so thankful I get to be her mom.

Though our blueberries were free this day, I would highly recommend finding a place to pick your own berries. They were only $1.75 per pound + kids LOVE this sort of activity. Win/ win.

Freeze what you won't use within 3 days to prevent waste. Frozen blueberries in greek yogurt is just like dessert!

Post All the Walks!!!

 I am still walking, and posting the photos of my walks on the Instagram!

Instead of taking far too long to individually post every walk that I am behind in posting here (and possibly getting discouraged/distracted and leaving to doubletap on Instagram for my whole break)- Here are my walks up to this point :

Fort Columbia- Spontaneous Detour Walk

9/48walks

Fort Stevens walk 10/48walks

Beach Walk! Seaside, OR     11/48walks  

Downtown Seaside walk (and food!)12/48walks

 Mother's day hike 13/48walks

And finally- My anniversary sunset walk ended here. 14/48walks

Are we friends on instagram yet? If not, we should be! Find me @_lourab_ 

Don't Grow Up. It's a Trap!

<3

This is a little bit different than what I usually post. It almost feels like what I would write in my Livejournal way back when. It may even be deleted at some point, as it is quite personal. It is about a realization that I had, that adult lifestyle changes and expenses can block our joy and connection.

 I felt compelled to write this up, after this conversation. I hope someone else can relate.

"Remember when we were teenagers?

When we would just hang out?

Remember when we would scrape together just enough cash to get some really cheap food to share by the lake?Or the campground by the river?"

During a recent conversation with an old friend it struck me that I just do not do any of these things with my current friends. Don't get me wrong. I love my current friends.

There has to be a point to a get together now. A birthday, a shopping trip for an occasion, a baby shower.

On most occasions there is wine now. I wish I liked wine. I like stouts and porters. And rum. 

And the food. Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. Whoever thought, when we were scarfing down oatmeal creme pies as teenagers that we would ever judge and be judged by how organic, locally sourced, free range, fair trade, gluten & gmo free the appetizers were.

It has become all too elaborate.

 When we make plans to get together with friends, it is to do something. Structured. Something entertaining. Something that will distract us from each other. Something that usually involves a gaggle of kids and all the patience we can manage so that we can attempt an adult conversation whilst being interrupted at least once per sentence.

Even at the playground it often feels like we are lifeguards at a very busy pool. Trying to keep everyone alive. Eyes catching every flail of a little limb, every sputter, every argument,  every possible slip and fall.

It is exhausting, and it is the reality of being the parent of active toddlers.

Relationships fade away, while new ones grow. Often the more accepting people in our lives, the ones who understand the struggles of this position in our life cycle, they are the only ones we call when we are in need.

 Many times it is too exhausting  to pretend you aren't exhausted in another person's company, so you pass it up altogether.

The last time I just hung out with a friend was when my daughter was a toddler. Our husbands were away at war, and we needed each other. We didn't want to be alone,  so we were alone together.

This person became so, so close to my family. Our children were inseparable. We were inseparable.

We were both on a enlistee's military budget, and I was going to school too. Money was tight.

So we would just hang out. I would go over there. She would bring her kiddos over here. We would do nothing. Just talking usually. Not the idle chatter at a moms meetup (I am so not good at those). Real talking.

The talking you do when you were a teenager. Only we were way older, and less melodramatic. It was brilliant.

I still miss my friend. Our circumstances changed, and we changed with them. Our husbands returned from war, and when that happens you try  to resume life from the place you were when they left. Only you can't actually do that because the time has passed very differently for each person. Sometimes it feels like a parallel universe situation.

Our focus returned to our husbands. My attention was also spent trying to find a job after I finished school so my husband could leave the military and go to school himself.

Once I started working full time, of course I could not come over and hang out at 2. I was working.

My friend and I grew apart. Angry words were said. We both felt abandoned I think.
We have not spoken in five years.

I have not felt a connection that strong since.

I can't explain why.

During the recent discussion I mentioned at the beginning of this post, my old friend said she felt so trapped by her budget, saying she could never have fun anymore because it cost too much. She is paying down student loans.  She is struggling. 

We had nothing as teenagers. Only nature, and spare change, and each other.

I wish I was there with her (she is in CA). We would go to the lake at dusk, invite whoever out, start a bonfire, and hang out. 

This was my recommendation to her. I hope she gets to it.

As soon as the weather is not freezing and rainy, I will be doing the same. Now I will do it with more kids, and maybe some (organic, non-GMO, gluten free...) s'mores ingredients.

I don't care how old or 'sophisticated' I get. Hanging out at bonfires will always be fun, and usually free.

So where are you at in your life cycle? Still hanging out? Living the toddler mom life?

More importantly, how do you feel about bonfires?

6/ #48Walks : Yay, Sun!

For the 6th of my 48 Walks we were blessed with a gorgeous sunny day. We drove down south to the Millersylvania State Park. I love this park because it is so close by and child friendly. 

You will need a Discover Pass to visit this park.

I also love that there are many different options on what to do once you get to the park. There are trails, camping, swimming, fishing, and during the warmer months there are boat/kayak/paddle boat rentals.

This walk was actually taken the last day of February.

I still don't have a word, or a phrase for what I am figuratively walking towards. Maybe it should be clarity? 

I'm not really worried about it. It will come in good time.

Right now I am just so enjoying the last of our Winter woods, and anticipating Springtime. 

Now on to the magic.

5/#48Walks : The Walk That Went Awry

My little guy is really, really into stories right now. He LOVES when people tell him stories. He likes to read, and we do every night, but what he is really into right now is the off-the-cuff stories that people tell upon request.

After hearing "you tell me a story?" About 30 times in one day, naturally you start just telling the stories about the day.

Our story of this walk was "Once upon a time, there was a cute little boy who set off on a mission to make it to the end of a loooooong walk to see if he could see some seals in the water. But, this little boy threw one of his shoes into the ocean and his Momma had to carry him all the way back to the start. The end."

This was our first real hike in about 10 days. After being shut up indoors due to unsafe windy conditions and that work thing I was elated to hear that sun was in the forecast. I finished my chores at a frenetic pace so we could just enjoy the afternoon out at one of our favorite spots.
I didn't bother checking tide tables. I just chased the sun.
We walked the mile to the boardwalk and arrived to find that it was lowtide, so we only got to see the strange wasteland that is usually hidden underwater. It is strange, but still beautiful, in a chaotic way.

Then, while I was distracted (by photo ops?), my son apparently threw his shoe off the boardwalk. I looked back to find one white little sock poking out from his pantleg. Then looked over the edge to see a tiny, lonely shoe.  Lost forever.

At this time I just started laughing like a crazy person. Just wondering what this little person could have been thinking. Age 2 is my favorite.
Maybe it got stuck under the railing and fell in?
Maybe, but the story I got was that he threw it.
He was pretty upset to learn we could not retrieve it.
I just picked him up and we walked together all the way back to the car.

And the whole time he was either telling or requesting the story of the little boy who threw his shoe into the ocean. The end.

Now, onto the pictures

4/ #48Walks : Snow Walk!

I know the rest of the country has just about had it with snow, but this is our first real snow since before Christmas.

Since the roads were pretty bad we didn't drive out to a park or trail to do our walk. Instead we opted to go for a short walk in the woods behind our house.

Then our walk morphed into walking back to the house to get all of our sleds out and sharing them with all the neighborhood kids.Fun was had by all.

Yay snow!

3 /#48walks : The Sequalitchew Trail

This trail was a brand new adventure for us. This Super Bowl Sunday, despite grumbles from the boys, I wanted to go for a hike. I needed to be outside today. Ever feel that way? We can be great friends!

I chose the Sequalitchew Trail since it was super close by and I had never been here before.

This is an excellent trail for kids, and I believe you could easily stroller run on this trail. The lovely wooded walk down the hill is rewarded at the end by an abandoned, grafitti'd railway tunnel (kinda spooky) and immediately beyond that, a gorgeous rocky beach! 

Nearly every stone on this beach in barnacled or mossy.

These #48walks, led by Alison Chino, has been continuous inspiration. We are outside all the time, but this project has absolutely led me to seek out new trails and destinations. There is an accountability factor, but also a gratefulness I feel I must share.

 It took me a long time to make peace with these long, grey winters.

 I want to share the beauty of these forests while I am here, no matter which season we find ourselves in.

Today we were blessed with a beautiful, cold, early February day hike.  Then we scrambled (a.k.a. ran uphill all the way back to the car) to catch the Seahawks winning the Super Bowl. Pretty amazing day if you ask me!

2/ 48Walks on a Sunday

These were taken at Tolmie State Park. This is a great park for kids. The trails are well kept, even boardwalks in places, and just long enough for little legs to run.

During the Summer months the beach is the perfect place for kids to enjoy some crab catching, sand dollar collecting, and general watery fun. It's not usually too crowded, even on our most Summery days.

It is definitely one of our favorites. 

This #48walks project, led by Alison Chino, has been super Interesting. My favorite part is seeing where all of the participants are in the world, and the places we are choosing to show. 

My family is a pretty outdoorsy lot anyway, and it has been fun to go out walking with an intention of showcasing these familiar twists and turns on our favorite woodland trails. 

There is a quiet peace I feel when walking in the Winter woods. There isn't a lot of foot traffic during the Winter, and I'm sure that plays a big part. 

I love the bare winter branches against the overcast sky & the dark hollows made by the understory brush. These will soon be little secrets. Still there, only hidden by the new Spring growth. 

 We will be there. Happily running the same trails, with new wonder.