Berry Picking in the Sunshine.

This was a good day.

It didn't start out that way. 

It started out as many of the most frustrating days do. I had a giant list of things that "needed" to be done, and an overtired toddler who refused any sort of nap time.

I always feel so robbed at this point. Anger rises in me as I realize I will not have the productive day that I had planned, and instead I will spend the day dealing with meltdowns. Mine, or my toddlers. Could go either way.

There is a point on these days where I will still try to get everything done out of habit. Doomed from the start, but somehow I just think " today we will make it work". 

I just can't stop myself, and it ends up pretty catastrophically, at least for me. 

This day, I realized early on, the plans in my head were just not going to happen. My little guy was so grumpy.

 So we went for a drive. That calms us all down sometimes.

We ended up at a Blueberry Farm I had not known about before.

Two of my dudes favorite things. Being outside, and blueberries.

I pulled in.

Instead of fighting it, we changed plans. We chose to make the day a sweet, happy memory instead of a struggle.

 We mostly ran around exploring the acres and acres of blueberry bush aisles, stopping to pick a bit. Seeking shade. Taking photos. A little boy may have been, um,  "sampling" some blueberries out of his bucket.

We only picked about a pint. They had to live in my daughter's bucket to stay safe.

At the checkout the guy just slid the pint back across the counter and said "You can just have it, I think the birds and deer eat more than that in an hour". Yes, free blueberries & a fantastic day in the sunshine. 

Thankful that every day is a fresh new start, and that being open to a change of plans often leads to a better situation.

I also noticed my sweet little girl stepping in where she could help. Without being asked. She is getting so much more aware of the needs of others and I am so thankful I get to be her mom.

Though our blueberries were free this day, I would highly recommend finding a place to pick your own berries. They were only $1.75 per pound + kids LOVE this sort of activity. Win/ win.

Freeze what you won't use within 3 days to prevent waste. Frozen blueberries in greek yogurt is just like dessert!

Don't Grow Up. It's a Trap!

<3

This is a little bit different than what I usually post. It almost feels like what I would write in my Livejournal way back when. It may even be deleted at some point, as it is quite personal. It is about a realization that I had, that adult lifestyle changes and expenses can block our joy and connection.

 I felt compelled to write this up, after this conversation. I hope someone else can relate.

"Remember when we were teenagers?

When we would just hang out?

Remember when we would scrape together just enough cash to get some really cheap food to share by the lake?Or the campground by the river?"

During a recent conversation with an old friend it struck me that I just do not do any of these things with my current friends. Don't get me wrong. I love my current friends.

There has to be a point to a get together now. A birthday, a shopping trip for an occasion, a baby shower.

On most occasions there is wine now. I wish I liked wine. I like stouts and porters. And rum. 

And the food. Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. Whoever thought, when we were scarfing down oatmeal creme pies as teenagers that we would ever judge and be judged by how organic, locally sourced, free range, fair trade, gluten & gmo free the appetizers were.

It has become all too elaborate.

 When we make plans to get together with friends, it is to do something. Structured. Something entertaining. Something that will distract us from each other. Something that usually involves a gaggle of kids and all the patience we can manage so that we can attempt an adult conversation whilst being interrupted at least once per sentence.

Even at the playground it often feels like we are lifeguards at a very busy pool. Trying to keep everyone alive. Eyes catching every flail of a little limb, every sputter, every argument,  every possible slip and fall.

It is exhausting, and it is the reality of being the parent of active toddlers.

Relationships fade away, while new ones grow. Often the more accepting people in our lives, the ones who understand the struggles of this position in our life cycle, they are the only ones we call when we are in need.

 Many times it is too exhausting  to pretend you aren't exhausted in another person's company, so you pass it up altogether.

The last time I just hung out with a friend was when my daughter was a toddler. Our husbands were away at war, and we needed each other. We didn't want to be alone,  so we were alone together.

This person became so, so close to my family. Our children were inseparable. We were inseparable.

We were both on a enlistee's military budget, and I was going to school too. Money was tight.

So we would just hang out. I would go over there. She would bring her kiddos over here. We would do nothing. Just talking usually. Not the idle chatter at a moms meetup (I am so not good at those). Real talking.

The talking you do when you were a teenager. Only we were way older, and less melodramatic. It was brilliant.

I still miss my friend. Our circumstances changed, and we changed with them. Our husbands returned from war, and when that happens you try  to resume life from the place you were when they left. Only you can't actually do that because the time has passed very differently for each person. Sometimes it feels like a parallel universe situation.

Our focus returned to our husbands. My attention was also spent trying to find a job after I finished school so my husband could leave the military and go to school himself.

Once I started working full time, of course I could not come over and hang out at 2. I was working.

My friend and I grew apart. Angry words were said. We both felt abandoned I think.
We have not spoken in five years.

I have not felt a connection that strong since.

I can't explain why.

During the recent discussion I mentioned at the beginning of this post, my old friend said she felt so trapped by her budget, saying she could never have fun anymore because it cost too much. She is paying down student loans.  She is struggling. 

We had nothing as teenagers. Only nature, and spare change, and each other.

I wish I was there with her (she is in CA). We would go to the lake at dusk, invite whoever out, start a bonfire, and hang out. 

This was my recommendation to her. I hope she gets to it.

As soon as the weather is not freezing and rainy, I will be doing the same. Now I will do it with more kids, and maybe some (organic, non-GMO, gluten free...) s'mores ingredients.

I don't care how old or 'sophisticated' I get. Hanging out at bonfires will always be fun, and usually free.

So where are you at in your life cycle? Still hanging out? Living the toddler mom life?

More importantly, how do you feel about bonfires?

Frugal Living and Giving: 15 Ways to Help Even on a Budget.

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All of us have times when we must lean on our family and friends. We also have times when we must be the friend someone leans on.
This should not change just because you are on a budget.
If, at the end of your goal, you find yourself with plenty of money and estranged friends, what was the point?
There are so many ways to help out that involve little or no money.
Sometimes just showing up for people makes the biggest impact. Even if you are empty handed.

Here are some ideas to help some friends in need for no money:

1.Do their laundry for them. No less than 3 loads. Washed, dried, folded and put away.

2.Babysitting. 2 hours. No big deal.

3.Clean out their car. Complete with vacuuming, and wipe down. (this was done for me as a birthday
present from a friend who was just laid off. It was one of my all time favorite presents).

4.Volunteer to make phone calls for them. Could be calling the doctor, insurance company, or even distant relatives that need to know some good, or bad news.

5. Shovel a walk/mow a lawn

6.Walk a their dog for them. Complete with a play session.

7.Take their kids for a sleepover with your kids. It is so nice to have a free night, especially so when you are dealing with stress.

8.Clean their kitchen for them. (As a new mom this was one thing I wish I had more of)

9. Go for a walk together, even if one of you is wheelchair bound (or especially so).

10. Volunteer to drive them to appointments. I work in the medical field, and this is a huge issue for many. So much that they may actually miss important appointments that can help them heal.

And for very little money:

1. A reach out meal- Bring a meal, paper plates/ plastic cutlery, and about 1 1/2 hours of good company.

2. Freezer meals- just do a search on the interwebs. You'll find about a million inexpensive freezer meals to make. Make 2-3 and a card appropriate for the occasion.

3. A gift card for a meal. +Bonus points for places that deliver.

4. A gas card (helpful for people traveling to and from hospitals and doc appts)

5. A good book. It may not seem like the time, but sometimes you need an escape. This one is more for hospital stays, and long treatment sessions. Not so much for new moms.

If you see a need, do what you can to help. It doesn't have to be expensive!

If you have any ideas to add, please do so in comments!

Super Simple: Jello Playdough or Why I Will Not Be Buying Playdoh Again

Oh Man, you guys. This is so easy. I have to share. I wish I had known about this sooner.

If you have little kids, you probably have some playdoh in the house, (maybe in the carpet?). It is great for their little motor skills, and the dexterity of their little hands + their creativity and sense of accomplishment.

My son loves playdoh. It is the most frequent activity he requests. In fact I can't remember a day without playdoh in it somewhere. He loves it that much.

One day we sat down to play with his playdoh, and it was so dried out it was unusable. Gross, crumbly and no longer pliable. So I started researching online. I found a few Jello Playdough recipes and decided I had to try it.

Bulleted benefits of Jello Playdough:

• Jello Playdough is so easy to put together. It comes together in about 10 minutes. Less than the time it takes to go to the store to get more playdoh.
• One batch of Jello Playdough is approximately 3 1/2 cans of storebought playdoh.
• It doesn't dry out as quickly as it's commercial counterpart. (planned obsolescence?)
• It smells amazing. Whatever flavor your Jello is will be the scent of the Jello Playdough!
• It is a fun activity for your kids to help make. They like to measure and pour.
• It feels like a science experiment when the dough forms a ball during the cooking process.
• Jello Playdoh is more pliable. It just feels "softer and smoother:"
• Its way cheaper. 1 Jello packet costs about .69 and makes 3x what a .79- $1.50 can does. The rest of the items are already pantry staples. I could calculate what they all cost as well, but that is a waste of time since I will come to the same conclusion. 
• Warm Jello Playdough feels amazing. 
• Super bright colors

By now I know you are pumped, right? I tried a few different recipes, and adjusted them. Many Jello Playdough recipes call for cream of tartar, but I have no idea what it does. I made it both ways and saw no difference.

Here is the recipe we have been making the past 2 weeks:

1 Cup Flour

1 Cup Water

1/4 Cup Salt

2 TBSP  coconut oil

1 Jello packet

Mix ingredients together and cook over medium heat. Stir constantly until dough forms a ball. Turn out on a floured surface and let it cool. Knead a bit, then play.

the dough ball

It really is that easy. 

My little guy cut out a bunch of hearts for me. 

End of Month Status: January

Happy Chinese New Year!

Horse year is suppose to be a fortunate year that brings luck and good things. Sounds excellent!


January, you were good.

Here is how you shook out.

Budget-This month we were able to put over $1,000 away. In just the first month! It makes me kind of sad that this money will be put towards a new kitchen in a home we will not be living in much longer (hopefully), instead of a big trip. In the long run though, it is providential and absolutely the way events should be transpiring.

We have done so, so good on our budget.

The only meals we ate out at were from Subway, and were both less than $15 each, for all 4 of us (+ an Ibotta rebate!)

We only bought what we needed. Which happened to include new clothes and shoes for my kid (growing too fast!). It was all bought on clearance online, and with Ebates rebates  (if you haven't signed up please consider clicking my link!) & extra coupon codes + free shipping.

I also committed to helping at the hospital about 12 hours a week, to bring in more income.

We had to get the car serviced ($171), had an enormous electricity bill ($369! usually around $240 as our entire house is electric, we have no other heat source), Our dog had an ear infection ($89), and I have had to get a tank of gas every week to get to work (about $160, but I will be reimbursed for this) . I also decided to support a friend who is running her first 35 mile Ultra Marathon with Team World Vision to provide clean drinking water to those in need ($25).

February's savings should be even better.


Health- I have only managed 1 run a week since working more, but have gotten out hiking or walking at least 4 times a week. I even share at least one of these ( #48Walks on instagram) , each week. My yoga practice is something I do daily, and I have added more meditation thanks to signing up for The Joyful Mother's Mamaste meditation group as part of a personal experiment.

Family- It has been good financially that I am working,  but this has come at a personal cost. My son is knee deep in serious separation anxiety. When I leave for work he is crying and begging me "don't leave me, mama!". Luckily he is with his Grandma and she takes excellent care of him. I have to remind myself that this is temporary.
I have been spending my mornings with him distraction free, and have a fun and interesting project or sensory time we can do together. I cannot say if it has helped or not.

House- Oh lord, this one I am making slow, slow progress on. There is such a wide range of things on this list that even when I cross 1 or 2 off a day it seems like they are instantly replaced by something else. Its an infuriating game of whack-a-mole.

I am so pleased with how well we did, and I am pumped about February!

I have many goals for this month,far too many to list here (not to mention some are downright boring..zzzz..) But I will still be focusing on saving, saving, saving & trying to get a few more runs per week in.

How did you do sticking to your goals in January?

Using What I have. Making Stuff I Want.

Next weekend I have scheduled some time to sort through our closets and dressers. This act is a prelude to Spring cleaning. This is not a task I necessarily like, but I feel like life is much easier after decluttering, and that is usually motivation enough for me. 

This decluttering results in a giant pile of stuff. Some will be sold, most will be donated, and some will be upcycled, salvaged, repurposed, DIY'd, and live happily again as something completely different.

 I am pretty creative and I can see multiple uses for most objects, so this process is trickier than it seems.The pile of things I just "decluttered" can very easily become another pile of "crap to make or do later".

I have to be ruthless during the decluttering and reorganizing process.


But let me explain- using things I already have is one of my favorite things. It kind of feels like free in my flawed logic.



I have limited myself to 5 upcycling ideas because I feel pretty confident I can get these done in a reasonable time frame. There a few things we legitimately need, and a few that I just legitimately want. I will be looking through our cast offs with these things in mind, and getting rid of the rest that afternoon.


Without further ado, my 5 upcycling projects:

1.Use your old clothes for rags!

 I cant believe more people my age dont do this .Cut up unserviceable clothes to use as household rags for everything. Cleaning, wiping dog paws, keep a set to use instead of paper towels, even cut some to use on your swiffer (wet, or dry). When you are done using them, they go right in The wash. We only use paper towels when company is over. No wasted trees, or money.

2. Before tossing any clothing- remove zippers and buttons and any usable cloth. They can be used for projects later. My grandma taught me this. She had a super impressive button jar. I kinda wish I still had it.

3. Make a sweater bed for a small pet. Too cute. This will be made as a gift for my neighbor. She has two adorable little dogs, and mentioned she wanted one of these.

 4. Make lace boot "socks" out of sweater sleeves- (more like leg warmers, but so comfy and cute). I ordered some last year. I was so excited when they finally came and then as I was opening up the package the buttons fell off of one. I was so mad! I will just make my own. I already have the lace, buttons,and a specific sweater in mind.
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 3. Make a sweater throw pillow

 

 I love cable knit ones like these I found for $29.00.  Pfffft- $30  for a pillow? That's almost a full tank of gas for a weekend getaway! I would much prefer the experience of an adventure more than a pillow I will probably only use for a short time anyway. A few stitches, a cast off sweater, and a throw pillow I already own? That is totally doable!

4. Patch some sweaters together to make a cozy couch blanket. I don't think I have enough sweaters (or time, or patience) for a big blanket, but I do for a small couch sized one. This will go with the throw pillow into the play room.

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5.Repurpose an old pair of pants or a skirt into draft dodgers. 

We need one of these so bad! I plan to use a piece of pipe insulation that I already have, but you can fill them with just about anything.

 + Bonus points-we will be saving money on our energy bill! Tutorial for the one pictured here.

I'm looking forward to the end of this week, and the end of this month.

I can't wait to share our progress, with our budget and all of the other "goals" I set for myself this year!

Have you started your spring cleaning yet? What do you start with first?



8 Ways to Use Christmas Discounts for Valentines Day

I love a good bargain, so naturally I am a clearance shopper. January is one of the very best times for people like me. Practically everything is on clearance!

During the month of January the most deeply discounted items are the leftover Christmas goods.

 Most people remember to stock up on clearance items for the following Christmas. I always, always buy new wrapping paper, and a few new things for the following Christmas. 

This is nothing new for us budget savvy folk.

For many, January is so full of resolutions, and purging, and organizing that they forget Valentine's Day exists until around February 1st. 

There are so many great deals that will make your  February self so thankful for your foresight. 

Many Christmas items can easily become Valentine's Day items, with a little imagination.

Yep, Valentine's Day in the Christmas section.

Too soon?

My February savings account doesn't think so!

Here is a list of things to buy right now at a huge discount to make your Valentine's day beautiful in both aesthetics and budget-friendliness.

1. Red and White Tissue paper.

 It's pretty affordable to begin with but I have come away with the big fancy packs for about $0.19 before. The possibilities are endless!

 tissue paper pom poms,

 tissue paper flowers,

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tissue paper luminaries 

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2. Red Dresses- its usually date night, after all! Show off your fitness resolution successes in a brand new red party dress.

3. Red sweaters and Cardigans. You can wear these pretty much year round as well.

4. Red Tights! to wear as is or for projects. These 2 are on my list.

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5. Twinkle lights. Buy them now for like $1.00 per box and twinkle light your place up for a romantic evening.



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6. Red ribbon. Apply where needed! Also good for wrapping birthday presents year round.

7. Red Dinnerware. If you are staying in this Valentines day, or if you make Valentine's day treats, some red dinnerware makes it all fancy.

8. Red and white candles. Candlelight is always welcome on romantic occasions. 

I've already gotten the twinkle lights and the tissue paper, and  will be making a few projects to decorate this place up for Valentine's day. The best thing about these projects? They are less than $1.00 each to make now that I have done my clearance shopping.

Creativity is important when you are on a budget. A budget does not mean you shouldn't have a good time, celebrate, give gifts, or decorate for holidays. It just means you have to be a bit more creative. From that necessity the very best ideas are borne.

Have you noticed any other Christmas items that could easily become Valentine's Day items? Share your ideas?

Budget Quotes and Motivation: Think of Your Future Self

Budgets.

They have been with me all my life.

Not because I grew up in an "alternative way",  with little money but a whole lot of land. (I did)

Not because we were  sometimes broke and really struggling.   (We were)

It is because, well, I like them


When I was 13-16 I remember fantasizing about college. Getting out on my own,  what would that look like?

I would collect the newspaper, grocery adverts, my parent's utility bills, and a calculator. I would lock myself in my room, turn on my radio, and research. (My dad would be on the only good computer in the house at the time)

I would find an apartment and a job in the paper. Then I would calculate how much groceries, and utilities would cost. I would look into colleges around town and see what a semester might cost. I would add that in too.


I would get a solid amount. I would reach a happy balance. I would feel really quite pleased with myself that I had it all figured out. It was a great comfort at that time. I knew when the time came I would make it just fine.

It still is a great comfort.
It is not always easy, though.


This year we have made travel a priority. To do this though, we will have to follow a pretty strict budget.

I know many people who hate to budget. Who are vexed by it. Or derailed by impulses, (this coffee is good NOW, it wont make a difference if I save $3.00 at home).

I feel like budgets are of utmost importance. They create guidelines and boundaries. They ultimately give you so much more autonomy.


It may feel like the budget is in control for a while, but every step closer to the goal makes a difference. Even if it is only a tiny step forward,  forward is the right direction.

In fitness, and in finance, here are a few go to reminders.

Sometimes saying no to something now, feels even better when you remember you are  saying yes to something in the future.

Be patient.

The control you show today directly affects the freedoms you will have tomorrow!

Set your limits and respect them.

Do not let your today self rob your tomorrow self.

Here's to staying in control!

Are you still on board with your budget resolutions for this year?